


Text Messages

by Alice5360



Category: The Laundry Files - Charles Stross
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 01:50:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20074153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice5360/pseuds/Alice5360
Summary: What it says on the tin; texting between various Laundry characters.





	Text Messages

Bob: Running late. Got another LAN clusterfuck on my hands. How r u?  
Mo: Lecture went well, thanks. Late-late? Wait dinner?  
Bob: No, I’ll grab a sandwich. Sorry.  
Mo: Good night for violin practice then. C U, love.

Andy: Meet me in my office. Got a new assignment for you. No concrete cows this time.  
Bob: Ha ha. What’s this about?  
Andy: Teamwork for you and Peter-Fred. Simples. Computer programming school in Bexleyheath; students have discovered a… shortcut.  
Bob: Oh God.

Bob: Damn you, Andy. Never again.  
Andy: Bob?! It’s 0400. Couldn’t this wait?  
Bob: NO. Your office. ASAP. Bring coffee.  
Bob: Peter-Fred says bacon sandwiches also.

Mo: Won’t be home tonight love. Got an urgent call out.  
Bob: Take care. Anything I can do?  
Mo: Stock up on single malt and chocolate for me?  
Bob: Will do.

Pinky: Bob! We’re short one for darts competition tonight. Can you make it? We’re playing the Dustbin.  
Bob: Those bastards cheat.  
Brains: Not to worry Bob, we’ve got a new trick up our sleeves. You’ll like it.  
Pinky: And some of them are rather sweet really.  
Bob: Okay, I’m in. You’re shouting the drinks, it was my turn last time. 

**BOB, I NEED YOU TO DEPUTIZE FOR ME AT THE [CENSORED] COMMITTEE MEETING TOMORROW. DO TRY NOT TO MAKE A HASH OF IT.**  
Bob: Boss, is that you? Since when did you get a cell phone?  
**MEMEX, BOY. A MINOR ALTERATION WORKED WONDERS. I MUST ADMIT THIS COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUE IS MORE CONVENIENT THAN EMAIL.**  
Bob: Uh huh. So glad you’ve figured that out.  
**SARCASM DOES NOT BECOME YOU, BOB.**

Iris: Bob! Just heard what happened in Hove. Are you all right? Can you come in for a debrief?  
Bob: For certain values of “all right,” yes. I never want to hear about equoids again. I’ll be there by noon.  
Iris: I’ll bring lunch.  
Bob: Thanks, Iris, you’re a star. 

**DOMINIQUE. HOW IS HE? CAN I BE OF ANY HELP?**  
Mo: He’s better than he was. The doctor says he can come home next month. Won’t be back to work for a while though.  
Mo: You’ve already helped. I thought he was headed for the Black Assizes till you stepped in. Thanks.  
**MY PLEASURE. **

:oSpice: Bob, how are you? I’ve got a meeting with Harry the Horse this afternoon at the target range. Got some new stuff to try out. Join us? It’ll burn off the aggression. You, me, Captain Barnes?  
Bob: How is he doing?  
:oSpice: About as well as you are. Not bad.  
Bob: OK, sure. 

**BOB –**

McT: Watcher mate. Sorry to hear you’ve been through the wringer. Got time for a pint?  
Bob: Yeah, a break would be nice. Someplace quiet. Why the invite?  
McT: Lockhart tipped me the wink. Thought a chat might be productive.  
Bob: Don’t know how much you’ve heard. Things are not really good here at the moment.  
McT: The Duchess had a talk with Mo.  
Bob: Oh great.  
McT: Tell you what, I’ll tell you how She and I started working together. It’s a great story. Just sit back and enjoy your pint. You don’t have to say a thing unless you feel like it.  
Bob: All right, you’re on. Half six okay? Frog and Tourettes?  
McT: Done and done.

MArmstrong: Ah, Bob. I was hoping you could meet with me and the New Management to discuss your deployment for the next several months. Belize, Syria, that sort of thing. We have roughed out a schedule and have recruited support staff for you. Thursday for lunch? Himself will meet us in the new eatery (He designed it Himself, do be sure to compliment Him on it).  
Bob: **YES SIR, I WILL MEET YOU THERE.**


End file.
